I never blog. This isn’t news. After a few feeble blog attempts I even forgot to update after IVF no 4.
The news was good. I have one normal embryo. When I transfer it I will have a 35-40 per cent chance of a pregnancy which is so much higher than past transfers. I came out of egg collection with two embryos for testing. The other embryo had a genetic abnormality (I can’t find my notes to recall what kind). Of course it would have been wonderful to have had two normal embryos because it leaves a lot riding on the one and only but I was really happy with this outcome.
Around the same time as I was doing IVF I had bought a house (which was so exciting and so stressful – and the pay off for a very long commute to a better paying job while living with my parents) and got a job in the town where we will be living. So I didn’t want to do the transfer straight away and miss out on getting maternity leave. If I am so lucky to get pregnant again this time I will have my life a little more sorted than it was when little S was welcomed into the world. Financially things were a bit tough back then which is what you might expect after doing IVF for two years. My parents and sister were incredibly generous and organised to move into my sister’s house where S and I could live downstairs in our own area so that I could afford to both have maternity leave and to save. The commute was two hours there and back some days so I would be away from little S for twelve hours which was hard although again my family was extremely generous and provided all the childcare. I am really lucky. At times, and often at the start, living with my family in my thirties, while sleep deprived, drove me nuts. I love my own space and I was extremely independent even as a young teenager. I never got to set up a nursery for S before we moved in because my sister had to wait for tenants to move out. And tenants had made a mess of the place and it was full of old furniture so that had to be deal with. She was the poor colicky, refluxy baby who never slept so I tried to unpack here and there between feeds and when I should have slept but it was basically a mess for a long time. It was all fine but it wasn’t what I had imagined. I want it to be different if I get another chance.
So we’ve made it through the hard times. I now have a gorgeous little nineteen month old who is determined, funny and the love of my life. She sleeps! Not every night and rarely past 6am but I can live with that. It’s harder being here on my own with family and friends about an hour and a half away in different directions. But it’s what I needed to be the one doing. My parents and sister were great and saved my life with all the support they provided but I often felt undermined as a parent.
So here we are living on our own in the country. We actually see kangaroos in the street which is so exciting for a city person. I actually nearly cried the first time I saw some giant ones hopping down the street as I was driving by. S is in childcare and family day care now and after many weeks she has adjusted and is attached to her carers now. My new job is a lower grade and different type of work but I don’t care because I leave on time and get to S less than ten minutes from when I finish.
I qualify for maternity leave one year after my start date at my new job (14/05/19) so I’ve calculated that I can do the transfer in early September so be safe. So now I have two months. I really need to stop eating so much chocolate (I eat serious amounts, I’m very tired, I think that’s it) and other crap and start getting healthy. Perhaps I’ll do some acupuncture. Maybe blogging about it will motivate me. Or I might forget to blog for another six months.
I hope you’re all well xo